Wednesday, April 21, 2010

What's your perspective?

My wife made a statement recently, and ever since then it has been echoing through my head. Weirdly enough it seems to keeps emerging in every deep conversation I am engaged in. It was one of those statements that is simple and yet quite profound. She said, "It's people's skewed perspective of things that makes their life so difficult." Skewed perspective...skewed perspective... skewed perspective... it keeps echoing and echoing. She is so right, a skewed perspective totally causes people have such a hard time dealing with their problems, if they would make a little adjustment they would see how easy it is to find solutions for happiness.

Some people are so thick headed (dense) or maybe just stubborn and refuse to change, but I find myself asking myself, "Why, is it so hard for people for people to accept someone else's ideas", or "What's it going take to get through to this person?" "Why can't they see this from a different point of view? Frustrating! It's beyond me how people can continually make the same mistakes in life over and over again and still point a finger outward and blaming others for their situation.

One of the definitions of perspective is; to have a true understanding of the relative importance of things; or to have a sense of proportion. Funny enough my wife and I today were discussing how some people don't have a firm grip on what their limitations are, they want to be something they are not. Example, I am not a person of multiple languages, I would love to speak Italian and I am whittling away at learning it. Point is, I don't posses the natural God given talent to pick up languages easily; hence, I knew that becoming a linguist would be a fruitless endeavor. Besides the obvious inability issues, I also lack the obsession or love of languages required to become an expert in them. This is called a reality check. I'm no less of a person for my honesty about my short comings.

Reality is defined as, the world or the state of things that actually exists. Reality isn't so hard to deal with when you put things into the proper perspective. Let's take a second for a reality check, life isn't always fair, but, let's try and remember that fair is a relative term, besides sometimes life is more than fair. Sometimes we get more than we deserve, so, not getting everything we want is part of life's reality. Good things are going to happen in life and bad things are going to happen as well, good and bad, all these things are what make life what it is. Life is an enigma, a mystery, an adventure and at best unpredictable in it's nature, but one thing is for sure it is a path to be explored, come what may.

Here's something to wrestle with, you only get out of life what you put into it, until you come to the that reality, you will live in a world of dreams and regrets. It's actually quite simple, If you approach life with a terrible attitude, life will be terrible. Try avoiding statements like "reality sucks" and try understanding that reality is what it is. How we choose to interpret and deal with life (reality) will determine the state in which you end up in life.

Sometimes we find reality favorable and sometimes we don't, regardless of what we think, it is imperative that we realize that it is an actuality, a truth. When we start living in denial of the truth, our perspective of reality becomes skewed. Altering the reality of things in our minds to suit the way we would like things to be does not change the reality or truth of the actual situation. What it does do is make it harder to find a way of dealing with what is happening in that reality.

This brings us to the idea of our status quo. The definition of status quo is defined as the current situation or existing state of affairs in which one may find themselves, regardless if they find that current state they are in acceptable or not. Sounds a lot like the definition of reality. I am dumb founded by how many people I have been aquatinted with in life that are so unhappy with their status quo. You should understand that I'm not talking about a global status quo, I'm not even talking about a national or state governmental status quo. I'm talking about a person's own personal status quo of life, you know, where they are in their career, in the relationships, in their spiritual lives, etc...

What is even more puzzling to me is how a person could be so dissatisfied with their status quo (their life), and do absolutely nothing to alter it. I want you to take notice that I did not say change the status quo, I said alter it. Adjusting one's status quo may indeed entail making some change, but understand it is change with a purpose, with true intent and a direction. Know this, change for the sake of change is pointless and it usually results in outcomes which are no better than the status quo ante, the previous existing state of affairs in which one was in originally unhappy with in the first place. A different status quo isn't necessarily better, it's just different. So, to avoid any confusion, I'll be using words like adjustment, modify, alter, etc...., instead of the word change, I think they are more suitable in any case.

I'm sure you've heard the idiom, don't throw the baby out with the bath water, it's a very suitable statement for the idea of modifying one's status quo. Why should we get rid of the whole kit and kaboodle when some of our stuff (parts of our life) is just fine? You don't go and buy a whole new car just because it needs some repairs, do you?

I digress though, another thing we both (my wife and I) had a hard time understanding is the mentality of a person that makes no effort, no stand, no attempt or even a gesture that can lead them to an adjustment or modification of their current displeasing situation. Many of these individuals have plenty of resources and support to actually achieve their goals if they just tried.

It is hard to make adjustment in life and it takes time and persistence. I am frustrated, I am discontent and growing ever more weary with the lack of stamina in people now a days. The lack of commitment and steadfastness in people is disheartening, people can't even standing by the own principles and ideologies anymore. I would even venture to say I see a lack of resolve, fortitude, moral fiber, courage, bravery, endurance,resilience, perseverance,diligence, tenacity, or commitment in our society in general. Get out a dictionary and look them up and try and argue against my point.

1 Corinthians 13:11
When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me.

Question? Are people unhappy with their status quo or are they just having a hard time accepting reality because they have the wrong perspective on life?


  1. Wow, so true in so many ways. I sat and read this last post of yours and can apply it to my life right now in so many ways. Reality, does it really suck? I'm healthy, I have a great family, I have GOALS!!! So now you got me thinking here, just about what I am about to endeavor. A major risk, something most people in this world today are too scared to do. I sit at work day after day watching skilled and talented people just waste away in a mediocre lifestyle due to the fact they are too afraid to take a risk in life to maybe improve things. Of course things could end up so much worse, but if your steadfast and resilient, chances are in some way, shape or form you will succeed at some point or another. I myself have fallen into this trap in life, and I've learned, its not where I want to be and will never be happy with. So what are my options? Sit here and do nothing, or take that big risk? Does it change me as a person? I don't think so. Does it mean life ends if I fail? I again, don't think so. I know you know what I'm refering to, and many have doubts about my ambition and are in constant form to try and sway me from this decision. Fact is though, the one's who are trying to steer me away, are the ones who won't get up and do something to change their so called "Miserable existances". I've found surrounding myself with people of this nature brings me right to where they are as well. I've recently found a new group of people I discuss things with and its the exact opposite now, I feel the need to progress and explore, and the only way to do this is to ALTER my status quo somewhat and take a chance.

    Maybe I've missed your point somewhat, but that's what I myself have gathered from your thoughts here.

  2. Hey Chris,
    Thanks for sharing that with us, it is exactly what I'm talking about. Some people let fear make their decisions for them and that usually results in a coward's approach to life, (do nothing at all to alter my current state). In all actuality the worse that can happen to you is you end up right back where you started, and as you've already stated it's not that bad, you're healthy, you have a loving family, and you have goals. So, let me share an unexplored avenue and if you're brave enough to give it a go, I promise you your life will change for the better in more ways than you could ever imagine. If you add God in the mix you will be on the path to an awesome life.
    Carry on my brother, make smart decisions, set small achievable goals that keep you moving forward, and be diligent.