__Sketch and Release______

Best Friends

I laid in my bed last night unable to sleep, so my brain, like many nights started to review the events of the day or in this case my weekend. Many times it, my brain that is, will remind me of all the things I haven't done around the house, sometimes it will lock in on a remodeling job for one of the rooms in our house, going into great detail of it execution. To my surprise last night it (my brain) jump to memories of our horseback riding excursion on Saturday at Vasquez Rocks in Aqua Dulce, in particular thoughts of my wife on Cochise which was the horse she was riding for the day. She was absolutely beautiful, lit up by the sun with her curled hair blowing in the wind. Her independence and self strength has always been admirable but as I watched her maneuver her less than obedient horse through this dangerous terrain, up and down its steep rocky paths I thought of how lucky I was to have her as my wife and better yet as my best friend. I reached over my dog who was asleep between us and lightly caressed her arm lovingly but oh so light as I did not want to wake her. As I rolled back onto my side of the bed another thought came into my head, I know she's my best friend but am I her best friend?

We have been together for so long I just assumed I am her best friend, but maybe not. I assumed this because we have moved so many times and we have had to survive on our own in most of those places without any support system what so ever, so I got the spot as best friend out of default. But this made me think of all the best friends I've ever had, all the way back to my very first best friend a ever had.

I would have to say my very first best friend was my little brother, Blake. We slept in the same room, everything we did was together whether it was play, eating, bathing we were always together. One of my fondest memories is of the heart to heart discussions we had at bed time, sharing thoughts and concerns as we lay in our beds before one of us would drift off. Their is a deep love that I have for him that I would not experience again with a best friend until Jodi, my wife became my best friend.

Chris Smoot was my first best friend out side of my brother. I met him in first grade, we hit it off right away although I can't quite remember why. It may have been that he brought very cool toys to school, who knows. When I discovered he had an identical twin brother I was a little taken aback, confused to say the least and kind of upset. I think, deep in my heart I knew that his brother was truly his best friend and I was a friend but not his best friend. Can you consider someone your best friend but you're not their best friend? It didn't matter, Chris Smoot moved away before second grade, ending the best friend dilemma abruptly. I didn't really make another best friend for a very long time, besides my brother truly held the best friend spot and he wasn't going anywhere anytime soon.

Fast forward to sixth grade, this is when I made my next best friend, Anthony Feo with another lad named Chris Grozer in close second place. I can say now, as I think back to that friendship, we didn't have much in common except for maybe a strong love for four square (a ball game we played at lunch) but mostly I think we just enjoyed each others company. As we moved into seventh grade something unexpected happened, at the beginning of that school year Chris Grozer, who was a mutual good friend to both of us announced in a not so friendly manner that we could no longer be his friend or hang out with him because we weren't cool enough. This was pretty devastating to both of us, for one, how could someone we considered such a close friend just turn us away like old rags and second, we found out that day that we were'nt cool. What does that even mean in seventh grade? Well, over the next couple of years Anthony and I drifted apart gracefully, primarily because we had different interests occupying our free time. I for one was working for my friends dad's lawn service part time, and then there were these really interesting things called girls and of course rollerskating consumed me and my brother. All of these distractions stained our friendship and it was compounded by the distance we lived apart.

Chuck Fountain would be the next fella to become my best friend. It was a friendship that grew into a best friend status over the course of a year or so. We met in french class. We lived primarily in the same neighborhood and shared a lot of the same interests not to mention that neither one of our families had a great deal of money. I really enjoyed Chuck's peculiarities, his jovial spirit, and his spontaneity, just to mention a few of his great qualities. Our friendship was awesome, we spent many nights at each others houses, we shared interests in comic books, drawing, music and so on. Many mornings we would walking to school and many afternoons home from school resulting in many great adventures together. All was good until I met another fella by the named of Ralph Iglesias. Ralph came from a family of circus performers. He was a tight rope walker, he could ride a unicycle and could juggle. Well, a bunch of families all went on a camping trip together and he was one of the kids from the circus family, I was intrigued from the moment we were introduced. I thought this guy was one of the coolest dudes I've ever met. He was confident, Sauve, he knew things I didn't, and man did he have a way with the chicks. He had a strong understanding of how to work the system, a con man of sorts, getting people to give him things or doing things for him. When he shared that he wanted to hang out with me I was all in. Chuck and I still hung out mostly during the week but the weekends were a mixed bag. Many times I invited Ralph to hang out with Chuck and I, surely Chuck would think Ralph was as cool as I thought he was. Eventually, it was evident that he pretty much just tolerated Ralph. Somehow, Chuck remained my friend during this time even though I wasn't being a very good friend to him at times. My senior year Chuck went off to the Navy, and my best friend status shifted over to Ralph, which ended when I punched him in the face (it's another story for another blog post). I wished we were good enough friends that he could have found a way to forgive me but it was not so. Should it be a criteria for best friends that they should be willing to forgive each other even in the most grievance of circumstances?

I myself went into the Army right after graduated so the dilemma of whether or not Ralph wanted to forgive me or not resolved itself . I was on my own again. I made many friends during the next four years but I never drew close enough to anyone to claim a best friend. It was at least another two years after my four year stint before I made another best friend. I met guy in college by the name of Jeff Draper. He was relaxed, easy going, fun to hang outwith. We spent a lot of our free time together either working out or playing some kind of sport together. Our friendship lasted until he met his future ex-wife who slowly drove a wedge between us. My next true best friend would end up be my wife, Jodi. I can tell you that I'm profitting from this friendship much more than she.

So, as I lay their in my bed slowly drifting off to sleep I continued to reminisce the times I spent with these people who I considered my best friends. It was for the most part great. The question of whether or not I was their best friend seemed to matter less and less as I got closer to sleep. What was important to me was whether or not I was able to give them what they needed from a friend at that time in their lives, they surely did that for me. My friendship with them deeply enriched my life and I hope that someway, somehow I did the same for them. Best friends should have a mutual need from one another, they should be able to give and take equally back and forth, right? Well, that was my rational just before I drifted off to slumber-land.